


Phone Call Situation

by orphan_account



Category: X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: Charles Getting Uncomfortable, Crack, Erik is not a Happy Bunny, Jealous Erik, Logan Tries Dirty Talking, M/M, Phone Calls & Telephones, Protective Erik, Translation Available, 中文翻译 | Translation in Chinese
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-22
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-06-10 03:07:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6937099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tumblr prompt:<br/>“We could kill them.”<br/>“Why is murder your answer to everything?”</p><p>***</p><p>“The weirdest thing was every time it was somebody else calling Charles. Once it was Mystique, then Hank, Alex, Moira… It started to be ridiculous.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Phone Call Situation

**Author's Note:**

> Translation into Chinese available to read here: akisan.lofter.com/post/37398b_be9ca23  
> All the thanks to the lovely @apapercup, who liked it enough to translate it <3

“We could kill them.”

“Why is murder your answer to everything?”

Erik and Charles were laying peacefully in bed, still half asleep. Erik kept his arm around Charles's thinner frame. It was always nice, quiet mornings in Xavier's estate, too early for anybody else to be awake. It felt really intimate.

That was until this freaking phone started calling.

“Calm your mind, Erik. It's just a phone call.”

Well, Erik wouldn't mind. Truly. But he was a man with a little patience, so when the phone calls happened every morning, they started to irritate him more and more each time. The weirdest thing was every time it was somebody else calling Charles. Once it was Mistique, then Hank, Alex, Moira… It started to be ridiculous.

“Who is it this time?” Erik mumbled. He pressed his forehead against the pillow as Charles moved away to find his phone, buried somewhere under their clothes.

After a moment of search, Charles finally took the phone in his hand.

“It's Logan.”

Erik groaned. He counted on somebody easy to get rid of. Now he knew he wasn't going back to sleep so he could as well know what it was all about.

“Turn on the speaker. I'm dying to know what he wants,” he said sarcastically.

Charles did as Erik told him and greeted the mutant politely:

“Hello, Logan.”

“Hi, Chuck.”

Xavier rolled his eyes, but didn't comment the name difference.

“Is there something you need?”

“Ah, yes… There is. About the… Possibility of government finding out about our existence?” He didn't sound too sure of what he was saying. “Yes, that. You know, I was just laying here and thinking about it. Couldn't really sleep, you know, bub?”

 _What now, will he ask for a bedtime story?,_ Erik thought loudly enough for Charles to hear. The other man giggled, then looked at him with a serious expression and mouthed “just let me handle this and don't make fun of him”.

“That's something new. It didn't trouble you before, did it?”

“Nah. Just now.”

That's what frustrated Erik even more. They called and didn't make any sense, acting all weird and awkward (in Hank's case at least). They were talking for a while about some weird issue, then began to ask Charles questions as if they were checking on the professor.

“I see,” Charles replied. “You don't need to worry about that. I've got it covered.”

“That's a relief! Honestly, all my troubles went away. How are you?”

Someone in the background huffed.

“That was convincing.”

Charles quickly became confused. Erik only raised his eyebrows as he was waiting for the situation to escalate. He knew there was something wrong with these damned phone calls from the beginning.

“Good. I was sleeping,” Charles drawled. “Was that Raven speaking?”

“Yeah, we have this existential crisis club, you're welcome to join us.”

“What the fuck, Logan?!” Raven growled.

“What? I thought this was what you wanted.”

“For you to screw it up? Sure!”

“You know what? I'll do it the other way.”

Charles and Erik exchanged clueless glances. The conversation on the other side of the line went silent. Charles took it as his cue to intervene.

“Is everything alright?”

“It is,” offered Logan. Tone of his voice drastically changed, it was much softer and lower now. “I lied about Raven earlier. She is here to help me ask you out. You see, I like you.”

It didn't took long for Charles to choke with surprise. Erik gritted his teeth. All the metal objects in the room started trembling. The phone call issue disappeared from his head, as it filled with anger instead.

 _Nobody_ will take Charles away from him. He was Erik's and Erik's only.

 _Calm down,_ Charles whispered to his mind but it wasn't working at all.

“What do you mean…”

Logan didn't let Charles finish.

“Since the day I met you. You're so hot, Charlie. I always wondered what is under those sweaters of yours and if you'd let me find out for myself.”

Trembling of the metal objects only grew. Some of them were floating in the air by now.

_Give me the phone, Charles._

_He can't mean that, I will take care of it._

“I'm afraid I can't return the…”

Once again Logan interrupted Charles.

“Sometimes I think about you when I can't sleep, touching…”

“That's enough!” Erik cried out.

The phone flew away from Charles only for Erik to grab it with full rage.

“I hope you will reconsider what you've just said. If you get close to Charles or try to talk to him in any way, I will end your pathetic existence. Am I clear?!”

 _You can't just threaten people like that_ , Charles needed to talk some sense into him.

He would probably just calm Erik down by his telepathy really soon, he didn't want his whole estate to vanish, because of his boyfriend's jealousy. To his surprise, on the phone Logan only sighed (with relief, Charles guessed).

“See? They're screwing. Time to end your investigation, Raven. Get lost, I'm going back to sleep.”

After that, phone was probably passed to Raven but it was also taken from Erik, because Charles – for once – had enough of this situation.

“Were you calling just to find out if I was sleeping with Erik?”

“Well, maybe,” Raven admitted.

“All this time?”

“You can't read minds through phone.”

“And you've got all of the others involved?”

“I was worried about you!”

“Oh, I don't need my telepathy to know that's a lie.”

“Well, I may have been a little curious, it's Erik. Why do you even...”

All of the sudden phone disappeared from Charles's hands again. Erik took it for a second, just to say “I will take it from here, Mystique” and threw it with his mutation on the other side of the room, disconnecting.

Charles stared in this direction for a brief moment with disbelief in his eyes. He didn't know what surprised him more – his sister's hunt to find out something about Charles's love life, all the others being willing to go with her plan, or burning jealousy, which Erik almost used to destroy the world (again).

Logan and his dirty talk would've count as shocking too, but at least this part was just an act.

All of it was just so tiring Charles crawled under the duvet and laid beside Erik. The other man was clearly sill buzzing with rage but metal objects calmed down. Charles continued to whisper to his mind. As everything went back to normal, he started to feel sleepy again. It was early. They could go to sleep for an hour or so.

Erik hugged Charles tightly.

“Killing them is still an option.”

Charles rolled his eyes.

“Killing them will not bring you peace.”

“Wanna bet?”

“Goodnight, Erik.”

Erik sighed and pressed his cheek against the top of Charles's head.

“G'night, Liebling.”

**Author's Note:**

> I saw X-men: Apocalypse and thought I should finally write something about one of my greatest otps. English is not my native language, so sorry for any errors. Tell me what you think!


End file.
